I am sure I am not the only one feeling like a Scrooge this year and this isn't the first year I have felt like one but this year is the most Scrooge-ish I've ever felt. I don't even want to go finish shopping for Isaac's birthday or Christmas presents! And if you know me, you know how much I love to get my shopping on!! It seems like I am always yelling at my kids or annoyed by anything they do or don't do. My house is a mess and I can't seem to care enough to clean it up. I wish I could sit in my pjs all day and never get dressed (but I do get dressed, eventually). I should be baking cookies and making candies, listening to Christmas music, shopping up a storm, cleaning up my house... Ya know, all the fun stuff that comes with this time of year, but instead I sit here with a scowl on my face (yes, in my pjs still) and wish I had the oomph to do half of that stuff. The only sign of Christmas at my house is the Christmas tree that took me over a week to finally finish decorating it. No other signs of Christmas here. I haven't even turned the lights on the tree on. If they get turned on it is Logan that did it and he probably got in trouble for going by the tree! See, Scrooge! I am not sure what my problem is, I wish I knew because then maybe i could try to fix it but it is hard to fix a problem when you don't know where the problem lies! I know I am tired of the seemingly monotony (sp?) of life. Get up, fight the kids to get them to school, get on the computer, finally get dressed, fight with Logan about watching cartoons, go pick up Isaac, come home and eat lunch, lay Sadie down for a nap, fight the boys to be quiet while Sadie naps, girls come home, fight Emilee to do homework, dinner, fight Kenna to feed her dog (that happens in the morning somewhere too), fight the kids to go to bed (especially Logan and Isaac), fall into bed at night exhausted, wake up to a stupid dog barking (yes, ours, and more than once a night), wake up to Sadie crying (she is teething and has been for weeks), finally, wake up and start the process all over again. There is also the dishes, vacuuming, laundry, sweeping, and normal household cleaning thrown in there for good measure. Don't get me wrong, there are good things too. Sadie can always make me smile, especially because she has started randomly coming up to me, hugging my leg and then kissing it. So cute! Whenever you tell her 'love you' she responds by making a kissing sound so kissing is her way of saying 'love you' and when she randomly does that it makes my day! And the other night the girls sang in the Community Christmas Concert and they did so well! I was a very proud Momma! (Don't ask about Emilee and the practice on Saturday though! That was a nightmare!) I am proud of Isaac when he brings home his books from Kindergarten and reads them like a pro, he really needs harder books. I love it when Logan reads to me! He is such a little smartie pants! But, and here I go being a Scrooge again, it seems like for every proud moment I have there is a list of moments that I am not so proud of, moments I wish were different, moments I wish I could change whether it is something I did I want to change or something a kid did that I wish they had done differently. Anyway, enough of my ranting, maybe it will help to get all of that off my chest, maybe not, but that is that.
So, with gritted teeth and a scowl I wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope you are more in the spirit of the season than I am!
